Two people come together to grow
old together, growing deeper, richer, and fuller in sharing.
Growing means growing pains, it means changing. When two people
come together and don't let each other change each other they
may end up exchanging each other.
The secret of a happy relationship
is not compatibility, it is integrity. The integrity of the two
people to make a commitment, a decision, make it truly theirs
and then die by it.
With a commitment you start to
work on genuine communication. It takes a lot of effort, some
growing, and some changing. All of this I was sure would happen
with Mimi and I. Our communications were good, bad, and even
sometimes really bad, even to a point of no communication at
all. I thought I could communicate with anyone, after all I had
hosted a syndication radio broadcast, spoke all across America
on personal growth confidence and courage to tens of thousands
of people, wrote an international magazine column, but could
not find the courage to pray with my family.
This all changed one cold winter
evening. As I watched snow fall on the backyard I listened to
Mimi and the girls prepare for supper. The youngest was setting
the table, Mimi was taking up meat and the others were doing
whatever they could so that when we sat down it would all be
hot. I put more wood on the fire and as it crackled I looked
into the deep red embers and realize that like wood, our lives
are too short. I had so much to be thankful for and made a commitment
to begin prayer with my family at the supper table. When we were
all seated I asked that we join hands while I prayed that the
food be nourishment for our bodies and that I would receive guidance
in my responsibility to lead Mimi, our youngest daughter, and
our extended family, closer together. I will learn more about
my family each day with courage, love, and leadership. Through
prayer I hope I can be the friend, lover, father, and husband
that Mimi deserves.
I have not been the partner or
father that I could have been in our relationship. The key to
success is not doing things for each other, it's doing things
with each other. It's not getting old together, it's growing
old together. It's not acting like a husband and wife are supposed
to act, it's spending our lives learning to be what a husband
and wife should be.
It won't always be honeymoon
days, it may be warfare! But we will both win as we change just
enough to learn to make the marriage decisions and to die by
it - that's real living.
Some people say a person misses
success because they have no fast cars, fancy homes, or a high-rise
corner office. Not expecting to go down easy street. Not blaming
others. You can't try out a woman and make a marriage, you can't
try out a job and make a career. You have to make a commitment
to a company just like you would commit yourself to a partner.
You can not just look at what your partner or company has to
offer. A job is something that God gives to you and says that
I'm to make worthy of the vocation where I've been called and
that I am to begin to do everything I can with all my heart.
If you are not learning to love, honor, and cherish your job,
it will never honor and reward you any more than a self-centered
relationship will.
It is important to know what
future benefits the company offers but that should not be the
priority. The company deal is important but most important is
the relationships. The pay is important but the opportunities
to give and grow are more important.
Many people will miss the privilege
of growing up and growing old on a great team because they missed
out on this great decision.
The first thing that we live
our lives for is the big I, me and mine. Telling everyone how
we made it and how wonderful we are is what causes us not to
succeed. Yes, you can live life for you, or you can live life
for God. Not religion, not controversy, although controversy
sometimes sheds new light.
Success is not religion, God
does not solve all our problems. I think he gives us bigger and
better ones. When you come to know God, life does not get easier,
but it will get better!
I made the decision to accept
the lord on Easter Sunday at 13 years of age. I asked him into
my life, I was baptized that evening God came in, I believe it,
and that settled it.
When you make a decision, make
it yours, live for it. Burn that into your heart. Always remember,
decisions aren't to make men; men are to make decisions.
